You know all those “poor Millennials who never got the world they were promised” memes you post as a coping mechanism? That entire idea loses its charm when met with “Okay, but you’re 40.” Nobody cares, ma’am. Figure it out.

Yes, there is more to life than working, putting a roof over your head, and paying bills. But you love to let these practical matters go to ruin while diving headlong into existential nonsense.  Focusing on the tangible >>>> crafting the perfect life narrative.

Beneficial, tangible habits: 20 minutes of reading, 10 minutes of writing practice, 20 minutes of physical activity. Every day. One phone conversation with a friend every week. Start there. See “who you are” in a year as a result.

After decades of waging a bloody war against the Beauty Industrial Complex, Mother Nature requires you to cede the following ground: skin care products that cost more than $10, shapewear (barf), and under-eye concealer whilst wearing a red lip. You don’t have to try hard, but at this age, you do have to try.

“You don’t want to be dating after 35.” Turns out, this is true. Are you “dateable?” Eh. Probably not. You aren’t particularly open or nurturing. Maybe modern dating culture just makes you drier than the Sahara—defeating the point of the entire enterprise. Either way, your time and energy are best spent elsewhere.

Social media is a narcotic. And a necessary evil. Choose your vices wisely and deliberately. You are not your device’s submissive—you’re the master. Besides, submission is only fun when *signal fades.*

Youth is for the young. But your Winter Crone Era is a few decades off. Bask in the in between.

As far as the year ahead? Well…I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.

See you on the other side.